Field Guide to Being an Awesome Birth Partner

This is the first in a series of posts about things a birth partner should plan ahead for.

1. Plan Ahead – The Drive
2. Plan Ahead – Birth Plan
3. Plan Ahead – Setting up at Home
4. Plan Ahead – Take Birthing Classes
5. Plan Ahead – Packing
6. Plan Ahead – Know Her Situation
7. Plan Ahead – Be Ready to Comfort
8. Plan Ahead – Series Wrap-Up

Most babies in the United States are born at a hospital.  Most people in the United States do not live at a hospital.  That means that when it’s time for a baby to be born, somehow the mother needs to get to the hospital.

That sounds easy enough, right?  Load her up in the car, pull out of the driveway, and drive to the hospital.  Done.

Yes, the drive to the hospital is pretty straightforward, if:

• you know which door to go to,
• you know which hospital and how to get there,
• traffic isn’t terrible,
• the weather cooperates,
• construction hasn’t closed the road you planned on, and
• you keep calm enough to drive safely.

Let’s take a look at these in a little more detail.

Most hospitals have more than one door.  You need to know which one you need to go to.  Your first thought may be to take the laboring mother to the emergency room.  That’s probably not the right place.  Visit the hospital (yes, in person) and find out which door to use.  When you find the door that leads to the birth center (or maternity ward, or whatever your local hospital calls it), go in and talk to the receptionist.  Ask whether there is anything different you will need to do at night, and ask where you should park.

For some people, there’s only one hospital around.  In my hometown, we called it “the hospital”.  Today when I say “the hospital”, I mean one of the two hospitals in town.  In bigger cities, there might be even more.  It’s important that you know the right hospital to go to, and how to get there.

Once you know which hospital to go to and have your route planned out, you should also do some contingency planning.  What if you need to get to the hospital at rush hour?  (Those of you in “rush minute” towns may not need to worry about this.)  Is there an alternative route that is faster at rush hour than your normal route?

Another contingency to prepare for is bad weather.  Some parts of the country get snow and ice that make travel difficult, slow, or impossible.  Flooding can close low-lying roads.  Whatever the potential difficult weather conditions in your area, have a plan.  In inclement weather, would a different route be safer or faster?

It is a good idea to drive each one of your selected routes as practice.  This will ensure that you are familiar with the route, as well as ensuring that the route is actually correct.  It would be embarrassing, at least, to say “don’t worry, honey, we’re almost there”, only to discover that you’ll need to go the wrong way down a one-way street.  Driving your selected routes also gives you a chance to check for construction or other unexpected problems.

At some point, you will have to make the drive for real.  It can be very stressful driving a contracting, laboring, nervous, very pregnant woman to the hospital to give birth.  Your primary task during the drive is to get her to the hospital safely.  Traffic laws still apply, physics still apply, and good sense still applies.  Running red lights, speeding, or other traffic violations are a bad idea.  Stay calm and reassuring.  Stay calm.  Stay calm.  It’s worth repeating, because it can be difficult.  Stay calm.

If you plan ahead and stay calm, the drive to the hospital should go well.  Now, you might not make it in time if it’s a ridiculously fast labor–which is possible–but your preparation should put you close enough to the hospital that help can get to you quickly.  Most of the time, though, labor is not that ridiculously fast, so being prepared and doing the drive safely means you’ll get to the hospital with plenty of time, reasonably calm, and ready for labor and birth.

Not everyone will use a car to get to the hospital for a variety of reasons.  If you are in a non-car situation–maybe a city dweller that has no need for a car–planning ahead for the right way to get to the hospital is just as necessary.  Many of the factors listed above (which door to use, weather, keeping calm) can be equally important to those not using a car to get to the hospital.

Next up in the series:  Plan Ahead – Birth Plan