This is the second in a series of posts about things a birth partner should plan ahead for.
- Plan Ahead – The Drive
- Plan Ahead – Birth Plan
- Plan Ahead – Setting up at Home
- Plan Ahead – Take Birthing Classes
- Plan Ahead – Packing
- Plan Ahead – Know Her Situation
- Plan Ahead – Be Ready to Comfort
- Plan Ahead – Series Wrap-Up
A birth plan is exactly that–a plan for birth. It’s a short, written plan that covers some of the big decisions related to giving birth.
As a birth partner, you should have at least one discussion with the mother-to-be as you work together to develop a birth plan. The completed plan will contain some valuable information, and you will have learned even more things that don’t end up in the plan–those things may be useful to you during the birth process.
There are a variety of checklists and birth plan creator tools on the internet. (Searching “birth plan checklist” brings up some great results.) There’s a just-what’s-necessary checklist in the Field Guide book. The exact decisions that get written down aren’t super-important. Instead it’s talking through the entire birth process and understanding preferences, concerns, fears, hopes, and figuring out how the ideal birth would happen.
It’s important to understand that the birth plan is just a plan. Plans change. It is important to be flexible about the birth plan. As Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “Plans are nothing. Planning is everything.” Make the plan, but be willing to change as circumstances require. In the (translated) words of Helmuth von Moltke, “no plan survives contact with the enemy.” Coming up with the plan helps you understand her preferences. If reality dictates a change of plans, understanding her preferences can help you provide the right kind of support and encouragement to keep the birth experience positive.
For example, she might want to have a natural childbirth, with no drugs or anesthesia. If complications arise and an emergency c-section is needed, she will need some sort of anesthesia. A good birth partner, knowing her preference, can provide encouragement, perhaps saying something like “I know you wanted this to be natural. This isn’t what we’d planned, but I know it’s going to be okay. Baby’s so lucky to have a mommy willing to change plans to keep him/her safe.” (Note: do not actually say “him/her”, although that could be pretty funny.)
As another example, she might want to have her birth partner (you!) cut the cord. Sometimes, though, all the excitement of childbirth, the sights and smells of various fluids, and the emotional exertion of being a supportive birth partner through labor can leave you feeling unsteady. In that case, it’s okay to decide not to cut the cord. “I know you wanted me to cut the cord. I want to too. My knees are too wobbly to do that though. We’ll have the doctor do that and we’ll get baby to you right away.”
Remember, the birth plan is important, but the real value is the process of planning, understanding her preferences, and starting to understand what’s going on inside her head.
After you have a birth plan you’re both pretty happy with, you should attend a prenatal appointment together. That will allow the birth partner, the mother-to-be, and the doctor to go over the birth plan together to make sure you have covered the important things, ensure your plan is reasonable, and doesn’t include any outdated practices. This will help you get a bit of exposure to the viewpoint of medical staff, and once again, this will help you understand the preferences of the mother-to-be.
For more reading, check out these articles from a labor and delivery nurse:
- Writing Your Birth Plan: Tips from an L&D Nurse
- Top Ten DOs for Writing Your Birth Plan: Tips from an L&D Nurse
Next up in the series: Plan Ahead – Setting up at Home